The Game of Life

It has been over a week since we took our field trip to the Nairobi Game Park. So far that was the most exciting game drive we have been on. Once we passed through the gates we came upon a group of giraffe. A short thirty minutes later Brian and I both spotted the silhouette of a head. At first we thought maybe it was a hyena. As we circled around we found that we had come upon a lion. We followed it for a bit and we swung back down to the road where we first spotted it. As we searched the grass we spotted the head and then the body of a young female lion. She was headed in our direction. We got out our cameras and starting snapping pictures. Milo got a very good shot and I got a couple too.

We drove around for a few more hours spotting more zebra, gazelle, coke beast, eland, ostrich and other birds. We took a break for lunch at the Hippo pools. The askari took us down by the water and gave us a little tour. We saw the tail of a crocodile and several turtles. We spent another hour or so wandering about and decided to stretch our legs at another picnic spot. After sometime I was standing on a log talking to Brian and happened to glance up between the trees. There I saw a rhino. As we watched them we found there was not just one but a mom and two babies. We were quite excited! We watched them for a bit and then decided to finish up our drive. We then spotted four rhino in a group and one lone rhino. As we circled around we saw another group of three. We went back in the trees and saw a group of buffalo. All in all I think we had a very successful game drive.

We signed up for an Internet service in the beginning of December. We were never hooked up. This last week we had several people come and tell us they were working on our account and that we should be hooked up by Monday. And still we are not hooked up. There are a number of things that just don't function like they do in the states. As a matter of fact most things don't. It took a little over a month for the box my parents sent to reach us. If there is a task that needs to be done it takes upwards of an hour, or more, just to get it accomplished. Yesterday we were without power for the entire day save an hour or two in the morning. You learn very quickly that getting upset does not get anything done. It is just easier to accept the way things are and find the good in what is happening. Yesterday I was able to spend more time reading and spending time with my kids, not rushing about from task to task.

I have found that I have been able to love and appreciate them more than I usually do over the last few weeks. That is not to say that I don't still get irritated with them. On occasion I wish that I could escape for an hour or more. I have also decided that I will excuse myself from my pity party and get on with life. I was diagnosed with depression when I was younger and I still battle it...often. (If you couldn't tell) I have made a decision to not take meds and just work through my issues the best I can. It makes for some dark and lonely times for sure. Over the last week or so I have found comfort in God's word and also in the encouragement I have received from so many of you. What would life be without our Lord and without the relationships he provides for us? I thank you all for the support and love you have shown me!

We are just about half way through our time here. It is amazing that it seems like such a long time but also how quickly it has passed. I think the next three months will go by before I know it and we will be home in no time. Alaina and I both still struggle a bit with being homesick and Zoe just keeps getting sick. The boys seem to be doing well and are showing vast improvement in their swimming skills.

I thank you all so much for being a part of our time here. I am blessed by all of you in my life! Only about 5 more weeks until the half marathon. I just pray that I am ready! :) Much love!

Birthdays and Bathing Suits

Last week we had the absolute pleasure of celebrating Brian's birthday. Jasper helped me to make a breakfast of biscuits and gravy. Later in the day Milo helped me make a cinnamon chocolate cake. The power had gone out for several hours and I was worried that we might not have cake. As soon as it came on I employed Milo and we began mixing and baking. Brian's friend Mutisya and his wife and daughter joined us for tacos, one of Brian's favorites, and cake. It was nice to celebrate the life of someone we all love. Each of the kids drew a picture for Brian as a present. We finally recieved the box my parents sent so I issued the pocket knife he recieved as Brians one and only gift. That weekend we shuttled the family to the Mitumba to get Brian some new pants.

I may have mentioned that the kids have been taking swimming lessons. In early December the kids in our complex were released from school for holiday. They had an entire month off. During that time we came to learn that several of the kids had been taking swimming lessons and the teacher was now coming up to 6 days a week to give lessons in the pool here. After discussing it Brian and I thought it would be beneficial for both boys to take lessons. Since all the other kids have gone to school we have employed the swimming teacher to come three days a week for lessons. Since then Alaina has joined in and Zoe even got a short lesson this Monday. Both boys have made vast improvements in their swimming skills.

I am obsessed with food. Not in the sense that I like to eat really good food all the time but in the sense that I am always thinking about it. Some people collect stamps, coins or nik-a-naks. I collect cookbooks. I have, since we have been here, gathered no less than eight. I imagine I will get more as the months pass. I have a desire to make a new meal practically every night. I do not find this to be challenging but exciting. It is not unusual for us to not have the same thing more than once. The variety is awesome. At home I was always thinking about food and also thinking I should not eat so much. Since we have been here I have thrown caution to the wind. I eat more and do not pay so much attention to how much or what exactly I am eating. I may have added weight or dropped, I do not know. What I do know is that I feel healthy, energetic and satisfied. I do feel the quality of food I put in my body is better here but I think I will not be quite so concerned with this matter when we get home. It is good to eat good food!

I am still struggling with feeling lonesome. I guess this is God's way of showing me that I can be bold in reaching out and encouraging relationships. It has come to light that while I am shy I also tend to be a little stand-off-ish. This I think stems from my insecurity and also from my history. All of us have been hurt by someone at some point or another. In some ways I don't think I trust people and maybe even myself. Another thing is that we, or I, moved quite a bit when I was in high school and after. Since then I have developed a defence mechanism in which I keep people out. Since I do not know how long I will be some where I won't get close to anyone. I worry too much about what people think of me and about making a fool of myself that I keep quiet and distanced. Lately I have decided that since I have so many kids people do not want to be around me, it is far to chaotic. My goal now is to be more intentional about making time for relationships and opening my whole self up, no matter what.

So far training for the half marathon has been going very well. I love to sweat and I really enjoy running. I have been more intentional about doing all the runs and also doing some strength and cross training. I am already half way through my training. In six more weeks I will be running in Tanzania near the base of Mount Kilimanjaro. Who would have thought? I am bound and determined to bring home a medal from this endeavor. :)

I have been entertaining the idea of buying a sewing machine. It is something I enjoy and I feel it will help to occupy some of my down time and keep my mind occupied on things other than myself.

Alaina has been asking almost every day the last few weeks when we are going home. She is very eager to get back to her "tiny bed" her dog and our house. In many ways she is like her mom. I ask that you would pray for her comfort and that she will find peace for the next few months. Zoe is growing by leaps and bounds. I ask that you would pray for her safety and also that we have wisdom in making certain transitions for her (like getting rid of the pacifier). I ask that you would pray for Jasper and Milo in their schooling and their interaction with other kids and each other. They too miss home. Please continue to pray for Brian in his research and writing.

I am blessed by all of you in my life. Thank you for being a part of this even when it really isn't that exciting. I hope that you all have a blessed week!

Observations from an Outsider

Aside from differences in lifestyle I have noticed some other subtle differences between here and the US. Let me begin with the food. My disclaimer is that I am not always the sharpest or quickest when it comes to drawing conclusions.

It occurred to me sometime a couple weeks ago that most of the food here is FAR less preserved than the food in the US. While a loaf of bread could easily last a week, or a little more, in a drawer in the US after a few days that same bread is already sprouting mold here. The fruits and veg go limp, bruise and start to rot within days of buying it. It is an awesome reminder that the stuff I am putting in my body here is fresh and "organic" if you will. I do not really look forward to all the genetically modified, preserved and who knows what else food that I will have to return to eating in the States.

We live roughly three to four blocks from the mall that houses the grocery store where we shop. On several occasions I have ventured out with all four kids, on foot, to buy some items for our household. Now this observation is in a way two part. It is somewhat unusual for a white person to be doing her own shopping, cleaning, cooking , laundry and taking care of kids. It is an unspoken "fact" that white people rarely, if ever do manual labor. Needless to say I get stared at, a lot. This often happens in the states as well. Mostly for the fact that I have SO many kids. Here it is not only all the kids but also that I am white and doing things that are out of the norm for Mzungu. I carry my youngest child and my groceries. If there are bags light enough one or both boys carry those for me. This is where the second part comes in. I have had numerous people stop and ask me if they can help me. They offer to carry bags, help children get across the street or inquire as to why one is crying. You rarely if ever see that in the states. I have been amazed at the willingness of these people to stop what they are doing and sometimes change the direction they are walking just to help me. I have yet to really take anyone up on the offer, I am American after all...

Parenting styles across cultures vary greatly too. We are very easy on our kids in terms of discipline. We are more interactive with our kids and therefore more easily frustrated by them. Over the Christmas holiday the kids were encouraged to be rowdy and play. It struck me, quite hard, that we are often suppressing our children in that regard. I wonder what the balance is for play and responsibility. A number of the kids in our apartment complex help to clean the house as well as cook. My young friend Tuta helps to make rice and chapati, she is 7. Her sister Bebe, age 9, also helps to cook and is responsible for cleaning the house at least one day of the week. These kids are tough. They have given my children directions and told them that they listen to their mom because if they don't they get beat. I have wondered what it is like for them to see us and interact with us. They have all asked when we will return to Kenya after we return to the states.

In some ways it feels like my work load has increased. Though it also feels lighter and easier. I really enjoy not having a bunch of stuff to care for. I have decided when we get home I will really go through all the clothes and toys. On a non-related topic, I have been toying with the idea of bringing stuff home with me to sell. The idea is that it would make a little bit of money for me and my family but also help support the business  and families of a few people here. Functionally helping someone, not just giving. I love the skirts and the fabrics I see here so another thing I have thought of is buying fabric and making skirts, among other things. Lamp shades is another idea I had. Boy I'm just full of it! ;)

I miss you all very much! I look forward to the end of April. In the meantime, to keep myself occupied, sane and fit I have been training for the Kilimanjaro Half Marathon. We purchased a treadmill since running alone was a little questionable. The race is at the end of February.

I am blessed by all of you in my life! I said before I left that I hoped to be changed. I believe God is being faithful in that. I am challenged almost every day. The other day in church it occurred to me that I expect and hope that change will be over night. The lasting change that I want to happen takes time and hardship. I have embraced that idea and actually feel peace about it. I asked for lasting change and I am getting it. God is good!! I hope this New Year finds you all well!!!